Hi and welcome to my blog. As Mum to four girls, I know I am incredibly lucky. I was always a very girly girl myself and as a child loved babies, cuddly toys and making daisy chains, horribly stereotypical I know but that was how it was. When I had my first daughter, I was so thrilled as I had secretly desperately wanted a girl. I hadn’t planned on all four being girls but it is actually amazing. For them it is like having one long sleep over with a crowd of friends. They always have someone to hang out with, borrow makeup from and bicker with (oh the bickering!). I still don’t understand why girls will argue over the tiniest thing for hours. ‘Does it really matter who dropped that piece of cornflake on the floor? Instead of debating about it, can you please just pick it up?’ It is just a teeny bit irritating sometimes and like all girls, they never forget a grievance and will bring stuff up three years after it happened.
On the other hand, they are loyal, intelligent, hard working, talented and incredible personalities. I hope to bring them up as strong minded, kind, independent young women to cope in this tough world. As a Mum, having girls, as they are getting older, it is like having a wonderful group of friends. Although they do borrow my clothes, my makeup, my books, my shoes……And because the eldest two are now teenagers, sometimes they hate me. But in spite of this they soon come and say sorry and we have a hug and it’s back to normal whatever that is.
I get a lot of curiosity from people about what it’s really like to live in an all girl household (apart from my husband of course!) Well it’s pretty full on with plenty of drama and challenges.
To complicate matters, two of my children have major chronic illnesses, Miss M was unwell from birth and little M became ill out of the blue, three years ago. My blog isn’t really about this as we have enough hospital visits, medical letters and tough days to want to wallow in medical stuff. We have had a hard three years, as typically of life, everything happens at once and both girls were seriously ill within months of each other, both requiring major operations in the same year. As a Mum, the grief of coping with the fact your child or children are always going to have to manage an illness is one you never quite get over fully. The ripple effects of these things spill out to affect siblings and the wider family circle alike.
Yet finally, I feel as though we are climbing out of the rubble, scarred a little perhaps but stronger, wiser and together an invincible team, looking forward to the future. Yes, I have thrown away the rule book and every manual there is, because with kids who have been ill there is no parenting manual. But actually after the initial confusion and fear, there is something refreshing about this, you get to write your own. We are on a different journey from the one we booked, often it feels like a roller coaster ride and ironically, I don’t even like them but this is the one I’m on and there’s no getting off. So I am going to hang on and enjoy the ride. As a matter of fact the highs are exhilarating, the views amazing and yes, the lows are not so good but as a parent you learn to exhale through them so your tummy doesn’t feel that drop feeling quite so badly. My job is to help the girls do the same.
The blog is also about my attempts, in spite of all my responsibilities to rediscover my identity not as a mum, nurse and carer but as a person with a job, as a writer. It can be hard to hang on to as there are a lot of demands on my time. I love my girls and having a busy family but I guess I want my cake and eat it. (I never did understand that expression, if you have a piece of cake why on earth would you not want to eat it?) Now I feel like a butterfly emerging out of the chrysalis, letting my wings dry, testing them out as I gingerly take my first steps into the world of writing. So here goes, hope you enjoy reading….